Of Mice and Men George Milton’s Diary Essay

Dear Diary,This has been the worst day Ive ever had and I dont think I am gonnar have a worse one again. I had to do it. I had to shot Lennie it wasnt anything evil. I didnt wanna loss Lennie. At that moment, I didnt have any choice but to do it. He was my unaccompanied friend not only friend, we were more worry a family. We had been friends since when we were boys. Oh I aroma so awful I believe that Lennie didnt do any harm. At least he never meant any. He is simple-minded. Lennie is an innocent, like as a child. I shouldnt have left him alone. I shade so terrible. He never meant any harm. His mind is like a child. Lennie never meant to hurt people. He always gets me into terrible trouble. Hes a crazy bastard. I mean he was. Oh, I feel so awful What volition I do now? What can I do? I suppose the only thing to do is to spend my money on his pipe dream, to educate it come straightforward. I want Lennies dream to come true because he died imagining the dream.It was a Sunday afternoon. We were just having a game of horseshoes. Lennie hadnt been with me since we startedpegg laying horseshoes. He was in the barn with that stupid pup, I think, I did leave him in the bunkhouse, but he ended up there. Anyway, we were all playing and I had no thought ab turn up Lennie or what he was doing. In the middle of the game, suddenly Candy was calling me over to the barn. For a second, I felt she was just resting. She was laying there, I went near by her and I saw her neck all twisted and her face down in the straw. Lennie did it. Crazy bastard. I knew he was the only one, but from inside of my mind it was killing me. I dont know why that is, I never felt like that before. In the rearward of my mind, I always knew that he would go too far, that he wasnt safe and should not been left alone. But I didnt wanna think like that. Now I had to.I knew that I had to get to Lennie before them. I told Candy to make out I had never seen and tell the others and then motor me. I had to go to the bunkhouse and get Carlsons Luger. People in the counterpane were all blaming Lennie. They were all thinking that Lennie did it. Curley was screaming and shouting. He was shoken up and ready to explode. Curley affright me by screaming like that and looking at me like that but I had to keep my cool. I just pretended that I was on their side, out to kill for murder. The word sends a shiver down me and I know I have done it now. Lennie always said to me that we were the same, like we were before.Only repress knew what I was doing though. He knew me well enough. I sent Curley in the other direction from where I knew Lennie was. He would go to the brush like I told him to. He always tried to do what I told him. I ran off and found him straight away. Lennie hid in the brush by the pool. He was sitting there by the river and he was talking to himself. He kept saying low he knew that I would look after him. He made me tell him about our kindle house for what was to be t he last measure. I mentioned it, and, he heard it. I told him not to look at me. I was trying to be a human but I couldnt control my eyes and handwritings. I was shaking too. I talked quietenly to him about the little place we would have together, then I shot him with Carlsons gun. When the other men found me near by Lennie, they all assumed I shot Lennie in self-defence. Only Slim understands what I did and whyAt that moment the brush has changed. At the beginning it was full of light and at the end it was dark. When I shot Lennie the world seemed to get darker and darker. Ive never seen brightness since I shot Lennie.My best friend Lennie is unfounded now. Lennies body was lying on one side of the river where the golden foothill slopes up to the strong and rocky Gabilan Mountains. At that moment the place was so lifeless, a little wind was moving among the leaves. At that time the place was so quiet and soulless. We were thinking about Lennies burial. Slim, Candy, Crooks and I were thinking Lennie should be interred near by the pool because Lennie loved that place so much. We wanted Lennie buried near the pool he loved, in a quiet serene place. When I was burying Lennie I take to beed all the things he used to say to me. His dreams of the rabbits he would tend when he and I got our land. He was only worried about me not letting him tend the rabbits. Lennie liked to pet soft things, like puppies and dead mice. We know this got him into trouble in Weed when he tried to feel a girls soft red dress she thought he was going to attack her. And now I remember all the things he did and he used to say.On Lennies gravestone I will print To my dear friend and companion 1905-1937. I promised Lennies Aunt Clara that I would care for him. I looked after all Lennies affairs, such as carrying his put to work card, and trying to steer him out of potential trouble. Now I feel completely alone, upset, lonely and lost. I dont know where to go. Now I think Lennie was eve rything in my world. It seems to me I miss him a lot. I couldnt keep Lennies promise. I am sorry Lennie. Forgive me if you can.At this time I have decided to think about my future. Lennie has died because of me. The end was dreadful, with the death of Lennie. At least Lennies death was painless, and Lennie died imagining the dream. My dream and Candys dreams were bust by the absence of Lennie. Candy has only his own death to look forward to and he has nothing but the life of an old ranch hand to live.At the end of the day, the story has a great sense of irony. For instance, I said that I wanted Lennie out of my life but I am emotionally lost without Lennie. Another thing I cant forget is when Candy told me that he wished hed shot his own hound dog himself. I have taken this information from Candy as advice, and I shot Lennie in to save him from a cruel death.I cant forget things that Lennie did and used to say. I remember all the things I cant forget him. When ever I go to the ran ch I remember all the things I just feel like he is talking to me and playing with that stupid puppy.At the moment, I have decided to leave the ranch and go to another place so I can live better. In this ranch I just remember Lennie everywhere. I dont know what to do. I think I should go to another place and make Lennies dream come true. Lennie told me that he wanted to have rabbits in the garden however, I dont like it at all. Anyway I have to do this for my dear friend Lennie. I want his dream to come true. Therefore, I will make his dream true. I will go to another place and find some work and make money for Lennies dream. I will always keep our dream. I am so sorry Lennie. I hope you will forgive me. If I lock away believed in God (a part of me that was there but now has gone) I would pray to ask Lennie to forgive me. Lennie you were my only friend, my best friend, and I wish you were appease here for me, only me. And I also wish Lennie to be with me for the whole of my life b ut my wish will not be coming true anymore.Now I feel even guiltier about Lennie nearly drawing when I told him to jump in the Sacramento River. I am really sorry Lennie as at that time I was mentally lost. I didnt know what to do. I was telling you to jump in the river. I am so sorry about that, I didnt mean to do that to you. I am so sorry, please forgive me. That time my emotions were co9nfused and I wasnt in a good mood. I was so angry I didnt know what I was saying. Though I knew that you dont know how to swim I still told you to jump in the river. Now I know how I feel without you. You are the only friend I ever had. You were more like family, not only a friend. I am so sorry Lennie.I dont feel like Lennie is dead. I feel like he is sitting beside me and talking about the stupid pups. The place is so lifeless. I dont feel like giving him up. He was the best friend I ever had. Thank you so much Lennie, for being my friend. You are really nice person, I didnt know that when you were alive. I used to think you were not important but now it seems you are a really important person. I am so sorry Lennie that I couldnt keep your promise.I am really sorry Lennie.Yours honestlyGeorge Milton